My motherletter

So some sappy guy decides to request letters to be written for his wife for Christmas... Here is my contribution, not the eloquence needed for his gift but my heart for you...

Dear Mom,
Been wanting to talk to you for awhile, guess I will do the old fashioned way of communicating (even if it is through email!). I never dreamed that this would hurt so bad. I am not sure how to do this life without you-- I am trying though! I just want to call you, just to talk and catch up on all the news. I am graduating in 10 days Mom!! I DID IT!! I finally did it! I know that you know but I have to share it! Rather than laying in bed sleeping I have taken a job! I know books and kids!! I am SO happy when I am there- It is just hard to drive home without calling you. Roo is fine. She is trying to keep us all organized and where we need to be at the right time! Imagine that! She did get a new dog though! He is HUGE!!! I mean clifford size huge! He is really gentle though- seems to brighten her up! The kids are missing you so bad- but they can write you their own letter- this one is mine!! I guess I just want to say thank you for all you have given me in my life-- even the crap you bought me and I rolled my eyes, means the world to me now!! I never knew I loved so deep until now. Even with the boys, losing you has showed me how big of a hole love leaves. I know I am who I am because of you! Thanks. Words will never be enough. Trusting that God's grace will continue to carry me, miss you bunches. Talk to you later.
Until you welcome me home,

might help heal

Good Lord, I did not ever think I would become a blogger- obviously I am desperate to find a way to help heal my hurt for you. This might just be what I need- easy journaling! Or could this just prolong my denial that you are gone? We will see. Can't wait to catch you up on all that you have missed! Yes, I should be putting out Christmas while JK is gone but I'm not! Guess you heard that Roo got the dog she has been looking for- he is huge! A gentle giant though! You add him to the little kitty from JK's truck that looks just like a screamer kitten and we are set for awhile! I hope I get to keep my kitten! You know the only thing Im milking is the fact that I lost you and need something to love!!
Hope it works- miss you tons