just one more

I find myself thinking just one more time to call, just one more meal, just one more hug, one more smile, one more laugh.... one more time, just one more. Thankful for the times I have had.

try as I might...

I can't stop time from passing. I want the days to go so that I can heal but I find myself wishing for the days with you. A new year doesn't mean happy for me. It means a time that you will never know. Want to share so much with you- glad for the time I had.
miss you bunches.

make yourself seem normal

When someone stops and asks "How are you?" just smile and say fine and walk away.

how unprofound

If and when I decide to come out of the comfy closet with my blog I feel that I need to make a statement about my beliefs. I am a Christ follower. I do not understand it all. Theologies and doctrines that don't follow Scripture frustrate/confuse me. All I know is God loves US and I will celebrate one day in Heaven with my mom because of Christ dying on the cross for me!
I do not have the answers for the world but for me I do know that the One and Only GOD is in control-- of everything. If this is true, which I intellectually know it is --then he is in control of death too. It stings but is comforting to know He is letting me rest in His hands for awhile.

a grown up riddle

overheard during our attempt to keep things normal...
What do you get when 1 smart mouth child says "why try?? Grammy made hers with loooove!"
You get 2 grown women yelling at the child, "you're right! We are making these with anger, bitterness, sadness, tears, frustration... yep... no love going on here!!"

Don't fret we did reassure The NHGang there was love, just not during the cheese ball ordeal.

we are here

We made it through Christmas. A little worse for the wear. Weird just plain weird. A horrible bitter painful weird.


What's it like to celebrate with the angels?



love,

me

hey

The countdown is on, I am trying- really trying to get there. I am getting there! Let me count the ways you would have laughed at me over the last few days.
1. The entire order I purchased from Amazon was cancelled much to my dismay and ignorance (went into the spam file - thank you!) Yes, This contained $850.00 worth of my ENTIRE CHRISTMAS PURCHASES!! oh of course I only realized this after I should have been receiving them in the mail!!!
2. I actually show up at the post office to purchase stamps with cash only to find out they do not have any to sell after 5pm, "but you sure can buy them at Walmart in the custumer service center". Thank you -- but I'd like to get them from the POST OFFICE I AM AT NOW!!!
3.When taking the child to the grief therpy program we have to pass 45 of our school teachers leaving the office we had our appointment at! Lovely! "What are you doing here?" each one asked. Oh just taking my child to THERAPY! They were dropping off their sweet holiday donation!
4. Finally get a chance to call to harrass your best gal pal only to dial a phone number of a great friend in high school's mom! Can't remember how to spell my name but can robotically dial a number I haven't used in 15 years!! Weird. Yes, I called her back once I realized it!

The list goes on.. I was banned from Roo's house yesterday due to each event that seems to follow me!! Wish I could call and chat but will cherish the times I did.
much love,
me